Because I’m so not creative when it comes to titles, as you can see I’m always having problems naming my images, and sometimes my fics too.
This blog almost went dead, like any of my previous ones (except Livejournal, I used to spam a lot back in its glory days). It just can’t compete with the convenience of Instagram that allows me to upload and update within minutes. But writing (or in this case, typing) has always been kind of… well fun for me, so I guess this blog is not going anywhere.
I can’t really recall much of what happened in 2013 now, there were so many shoots and I myself cannot keep up with the amount. But I guess I can always use more (…).
Inspirations went dead for a while, I’m not kidding. It’s not like I’ve ran out of ideas but I think its more like I’ve ran out of motivations. And this is getting more and more frequent that I’m freaking out. The fear of not improving and failure held me back, and I just want to run away from them, bad habit as always. I don’t know how am I going to convince people that I’m really trying to pick myself up. Those two years of hell has a long term effect on me and its not going to go away that easily. I’ve went through it myself and I know how it felt.
I’m still trying.
I really am.
Here’s hoping that I’d grow stronger and better in the new year. And for many years to come.
It has been so long. I guess I’ve finally reached the state which I’d feel indifferent now. 8 years is enough time to stitch up some wounds.
I’ve stopped visiting for a couple of years, because my incapability in handling myself made me feel that I could not face you like I did before. But trust me, every year I’d remember.
How are you now, L?
You’d probably laugh at me now. So many things have changed. Some bonds were broken. With an easy snap on one side. Some things were damaged, unrepairable.
I’m still mustering up the courage to face you. So I could, perhaps continue to maintain your impression of me being a strong woman.
Been somehow feeling a bit uninspired lately, and also tired. So I spent some time away, reading online, watching movies, documentaries, then I started shooting random things.
Like I used to do. I missed this feeling so much. I should do this more often.
My stack of new business cards that I had printed! 😀
Let’s hope that I get my motivation and inspiration back and fast, well a workaholic is a workaholic hahaha. I just want to work non-stop till I drop.
So I was browsing the internet (as usual) and decided to check out some blogshops. Bad decision. Because I saw things I want to buy. So I dished out my usual methods of convincing myself to spend money.
You can wear it
You can use the clothes to style your models
You like it
You just worked hard so you deserves some rewards
If all the above fails, just say this:
Because you’re helping to boost the economy
Some lameness on a Sunday noon never hurts right? 😀
And I shall end this port with another picture
All my love and blessings to the beautiful country of the East. You are strong and you will get on your feet. Ganbatte, Japan.
I remember staring at my almost empty March calender, and before I realized, it is starting to fill up with shoots. And then I looked again and… I’m shooting mostly male models.
I’d really love to shoot more female models. Seriously.
Things have not really gone that well despite my more and more busy schedule. I fell back into depression and had been torturing myself for days. I felt very dejected. Sleeping disorder didn’t make it any better.
Been distracting myself at the same time planning and scheduling shoots, so I’d not go insane or too depressed. There are so much things that I need to do.
It’s a glorious count of 47 shoots in total (one picture is missing from the collage because I forgot to put it in and I’m lazy to redo the collage…). About ten more as compared to last year. You’d see the gradual decrease in cosplay shoots as the year approached the end.
I think the number might go down further for the next few months, but who know? It might exploded again.
Tons of things have happened and as always, a mixture of good and ultimately bad. I’m still waiting for my break though. Well, at least I visited three countries/cities this year (Hong Kong, Sydney, Switzerland) that I’ve never visited before!
I’d be traveling out of the country again in another month’s time. Here’s hoping for new good luck in the year! See you all in 2011!